Why I Choose To Stay Home, Even With Older Kids

I’m pleased to be participating in the “Stay At Home Moms” series hosted by Erin at The Humbled Homemaker. If you’re visiting, thank you for joining us! Please come back again!

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I’m pretty sure she’d like to shake me.

You know the one: that person in your life who white-knuckled it through your stay-at-home-with-little-ones years thinking you were wasting your degree? Who managed her blood pressure by thinking you’d surely go back to work when the kids were out the door?

Well, imagine her now that I’ve decided to continue staying home even though I don’t “have” to.

This fall, our first with all three in school, has been a transition for the ages. I’m convinced that I’ve felt every emotion possible, but one of the things I feel most is gratitude for this opportunity to be home “even though.”

 WHY I DON’T GET A FULL-TIME JOB

First of all, I do want to acknowledge the millions of moms out there who would love to stay home with their kids, but for a myriad of reasons, cannot. I want to communicate clearly that I understand there are no cookie-cutter answers to life’s difficult dilemmas.

However, for those of us who are in a position to choose, I would argue that there are solid reasons for making the decision to stay home. If you’re sitting on the fence with this issue in your own life, here’s some food for thought:

  • I love starting the day with my children, eating breakfast together, and sending them out the door with a prayer. Being at home allows me the schedule to make this happen.
  • Getting errands like grocery shopping done during the day frees up our evenings.
  • I believe it’s vital to be present during the 3-6 pm “after school” hours. Research shows it’s risky — especially as the teen years approach — to leave these hours unattended.
  • Making a home-cooked meal with the help of my children is a priority at our house. Not only is it healthier and less expensive, but spending time together in the kitchen has opened the door to awesome conversations with my kids.

There are practical reasons for me being home, too, like needing to drive one of my children to and from her school each day. Who would make that commitment if I were gone?

Who will be here if another one comes down with strep throat?

And who will make sure the soccer uniform gets washed?

WHY STAYING AT HOME IS THE RIGHT CHOICE FOR ME

For this season in life, having me at home is the best answer to all of the questions we’ve asked. For this season, I choose to work part time from home so that I can give more fully to our family. I choose to be home to manage this life we live together. I choose to keep our days strung neatly in line rather than fraying too much at the edges.

Sometimes abundant life demands abundant sacrifice. But when you count the blessings instead of counting the cost, you’ll find a joy deemed priceless in the long run.

What about you? Why do you stay home even though you don’t “have” to?

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Using Movies to Teach Truth

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Several weeks ago our family rented Kung Fu Panda 2 for a cozy movie night at home. In the midst of backflips and kickboxing, incendiary buildings and talking animals, there were two scenes that captured me with their depth and veiled allusions to God. Both made me consider how  would answer the questions posed…

Read the rest of this post over at Girl Meets Paper HERE… and then consider the following activities to do as a family:

  • How might you use these same questions to prompt a discussion with your children?
  • Has your family ever facee persecution, teasing, loss of friends, difficult family relationships because of your faith? Ask your kids the same.
  • Read the article links about India, Egypt and Israel (embedded in blog post) and find those places on the map together. Talk about what life would be like under those scary conditions (sensor details where appropriate).
  • For ideas on how you and your family can get involved in supporting and praying for the persecuted church, check out the Voice of the Martyrs website for kids.
  • Request a prayer calendar from Voice of the Martyrs so that you and your family can pray daily for specific people, pastors, and areas being persecuted.

Setting Priorities At Home

Do you ever feel like the end of the day comes too quickly–and you’ve got little or nothing to show for it? That your “to-do” list just isn’t getting done? Or maybe you manage to keep yourself busy, but you’re doing all the wrong things. You’re investing in the unimportant while the important is neglected.

I’ve been catching myself feeling that way this month and the Lord has really convicted me to do something about it. Read my thoughts over on Girl Meets Paper and see how another blogger gave me a wake-up call.

Starvation in Africa

Coverage of the severe famine in the Horn of Africa has doubled me over and provided much-needed perspective this week. Tears prick my eyes and wet my cheeks as I watch news coverage of the starvation of millions of human beings living in a preventable hell an ocean away.

Hearing of this tragedy and learning that it has been building for four years and is just now getting attention have sickened me and forced me to question every penny we spend–every scrap of bread we throw away.

What do we tell our kids about other kids who are literally starving? How do we grow in them a spirit of compassion?

I hope you’ll read my thoughts over on Girl Meets Paper for a practical first step that will cost you nothing, but will start changing little hearts today.

Our “Reward Jar”

I know not everyone’s on board with rewards or the concept of dangling carrots. I get that. Using reward charts to encourage positive behavior from your kids can sometimes be seen as surface-level parenting rather than getting to the heart issue causing negative behavior in the first place.

My own opinion is that, when properly balanced with heart instruction, rewards can be effective encouragement for kids.

Sometimes a little boost, a grace in the training, a small “I noticed that gesture of kindness,” can be a huge motivator for children who may feel their days are otherwise overrun with struggles.

So today I thought I’d share some ways in which we use our reward jar.

  • Yesterday you were offered a FREE DOWNLOAD to encourage your family to join the effort in turning off unused lights and appliances; at our house, when an individual accumulates 10 tally marks, she gets to choose from the reward jar.
  • We try to reward small moments when a child goes above and beyond the expected, particularly when they’ve shown a strong work ethic.
  • Sometimes I’ll allow a reward jar selection when one of our kids is happy to help me or their dad in a moment of need
  • …when I catch them including a buddy who would otherwise be left out
  • doing a self-motivated act of kindness
  • …when they practice an instrument for X days in a row–or another agreed-upon goal

One thing I really made an effort to do when compiling this jar was to not make too many food-based rewards. Can you believe that’s harder than one might think! We don’t want to send the message that the only way to celebrate and enjoy time together is around a bowl of ice cream [although let's be honest, it is a dee-lish treat in the summer!].

Here are some of the things in our jar:

  • a trip to _____Park
  • a library visit
  • choose a new book from mom’s secret stash
  • go to a ball game with dad
  • invite a friend over to play
  • make cookies with mom
  • rent a movie of your choice
  • order pizza for dinner
  • buy a book from the next book order at school
  • pick out a new coloring book
  • have a glass of pop with dinner
  • get a new pack of play dough at Target

So what is your opinion about using rewards? What kind of rewards do you offer your kids…if you do?

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100 Inspired Ideas

Today I’m sharing a list that Kristen Welch posted yesterday on her blog, We are THAT Family. It is called “100 Ways for Your Family to Make A Difference;”  I thought the list was so inspired that I’m sending you her way for encouragement and fantastic ideas.

Be sure to leave Kristen a comment and tell her how you found her!

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Sponsoring a Child … or Two

As I mentioned last week, my heart has lately been sucked into faraway places as I fall in love with two children I’ve never met. Our family has dipped its toes in the boundary-extending pool of Child Sponsorship, and are basking in the joy that comes with making a difference in the life of a child.

Mayli, the first child sponsored, is 3 and lives in Peru. Having spent time in that country during college makes me feel somehow closer to knowing her: I remember the landscape, I know the history, I’ve seen the squatter settlements. Mayli has captured our affections simply by virtue of being herself, and my own kids are thrilled to have her in our extended family.

Then, last Friday, something possessed me to scroll through the faces of the other children on World Vision’s site. This time I was looking for a little boy in Zambia, another country I’ve visited, and a place ravaged by the effects of AIDS. Let me just note that it’s nearly impossible to just “browse” through the catalog of children available and waiting for help! If your heart is open at all, you’ll want to claim one for your own. I think my husband is starting to worry  ;)

When I saw Rigan’s face, I just couldn’t leave him, smile frozen on the screen, waiting for a sponsor. What a little doll! Our kids were so excited to include another child to our prayer list; they’re clambering for opportunities to send love across the ocean.

If your family is searching for ways to teach generosity, selflessness, and love, please consider committing to a child. The teaching opportunities–and heart-training moments–are unmatched.

One of the delightful things we’ve been able to do together is to go to the store and purchase small items to send to our kids. Things like: colored pencils, a notepad, comb, hair clips, mirror, puzzle, and pencils are gifts that we can’t wait to send!

  • Why not do a needs vs. wants lesson with your young ones?
  • Or do a country study?
  • Talk about how much money most families in that country have to live on each day.
  • When you’re at the store, show your kids your shopping list and decide together what you’d buy if YOU were living on your child’s daily income.

Furthermore, the simple act of sending a card, photos of your family, or a letter are objects that become treasured in the small hands of your sponsored child. I’ve been following the Compassion Bloggers on their trip to the Philippines and was so touched by this article. WHEN you read it, be sure to scroll down and watch the video. [All of Emily's posts are gorgeous! Snoop around!]

  • In fact, why not watch her video with your kids and compare and contrast the neighborhood shown with the one in which you live? Venn diagrams or a paper sectioned in half works perfectly.
  • Also, discuss how the girl feels about her sponsoring family.
  • Notice how she has kept letters and smiles as she reads them, probably for the hundredth time.
  • Work with your kids to draw pictures and write small notes to send to your child.

YOUR TURN: How do you use Child Sponsorships to teach your children and grow your generosity?

 

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